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Alimony is court-ordered support paid by one spouse to the other for a period of time Personally, I think we are getting revenge by being online exposing ourselves and sharing our true story. They not only leave us with so little but leave so few people around them not even knowing or understanding what happened. If youre asking for understanding and compassion from a narcissist, youre barking up the wrong tree. Yes, ignoring a narcissist can hurt him so much, that is beyond your expectations. And he tells lies that can be easily identifed as lies, which makes me think whats the point of lying in the first place? Therefore, if you want to take revenge, do this. Coping With Narcissistic Relationship - Health Part 3/3: This structure of comfort, of always having someone dispensa 10 Signs You're Working With A Narcissist - Lifehack Vulnerable narcissists also project their negative feelings onto others and have a dim overall view of the world. Not by my words only ofcourse but because theyve got some evidence about her they all whitnessed a long time. He also gets drunk every night then gets crazy on me in front of my kids saying horrible things to me and even goes as low as accusing me of cheating on him with his own brother!! Remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made! Narcissists have a very one-dimensional view of the world, and its one where they can do no wrong and the world is out to get them. Some of these things are just playing with fire and youre going to invoke hostility from them. I just entered my 30s and man I look back and say my 20s I was still was just a kid. They believe that everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same as they do, and . They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me." We are all here to get you through when those moments pass and help motivate you to leave when you are ready. Then leave it to them to draw their own conclusions. Not only does it not have the intended effect, we just have more fallout to deal with because we are the ones who end up hurt by it when the narcissist responds to what we did, and it just keeps us engaged with them longer. Its that they made us look and feel as if there is something wrong with us for feeling hurt and angry over being treated this way. Examples can include mentioning how much better an ex was at making them feel, exploding because you took too long to text when you were out with your friends, making a cutting comment under his or her breath but where your mutual friends cannot overhear about something that they know will hurt you. Stay strong! Understand these people love to control and manipulate. To me, the worst part of dealing with narcissists is the part that you . Works 3000 kilometres away and did it by phone. This is what those numbers exist for, so please use them. Theyll blame you for their actions or play up their victimhood and make you the aggressor. But once youre Convinced they are a Narc it can be easier to do. It boosts narcissists ego, knowing they can hurt someone, even after they have discarded the narcissistic supply. And they are perfectly willing to play the role of conqueror. To seek revenge on the narcissist is to BE like the narcissist. Cognitive Dissonance. Quietly. Never argue. Its the easiest path to Revenge for anyone, not just a Narc. So what is the worst thing you can do to a narcissist? If youre thinking about using the silent treatment, its best to walk away from the narcissist and the relationship. It could start with a smear campaign, whispering rumors to friends, family, or colleagues. This is the hardest thing to do while we are still in love with the narcissist. Early in the relationship, little did you know that you simply not doing what they wanted you to do whenever they wanted you to do it meant that you were likely already injuring them and didnt even know it. But I will never get my life. How To Hurt a Narcissist: Do This Without Becoming Like Them How To Avoid Narcissists And Toxic People According To A Self Aware I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and she was manipulating and of course new how to hurt me the most which was our children. Try challenging their opinions, ignoring their commands, or laughing at their misfortunes and theyll fly into a narcissistic rage. Whether it's a child and an emotionally abusive parent, or an adult with a narcissistic partner , the effect is the same narcissistic abuse that can leave much more . OK, it doesn't but it should . I called his parents one night to get advice ohhh that backfired he then calls his parents convinced them I bought the alcohol for him and that I was cheating with his brother. Something about the thought of getting even makes you feel as if you are one step closer to getting closure. You can't change a narcissist. Narcissists hate feeling invisible and worthless. Sometimes, you might even want to clear your own name. Hi. Phrases and Words That Destroy Narcissists. So many people in their lives turn a blind eye and refuse to see what theyre doing, even enabling it at times and it can seem as if, just once, they should be made to feel the consequences of their actions. The message was; Im in your nightmares and your fears every day. Getting even is no easier than getting closure, because narcissists dont suffer for the same reasons that we can and then, as a result, grow and change because of this suffering. 1. They need others to feed on; otherwise, they will shrivel up like the vermin they are. I need to read a successful ending from a husband of a narcissistic WIFE! These Are the 4 Words You Should Never Say to a Narcissist My husband left me after 30 years married 8 years. Yes, moving on is not easy and thats why I put it as one of the biggest cons. Its the hardest thing to do when everything inside you is telling you to do something else. They were not the partner you fell in love with and now it seems that this narcissist is actively trying to destroy you. Walk away and never look back at these toxic people. I got revenge on my ex, he had fraudulently changed his title of his name to Dr Claiming that he has a honorary PhD from a University, which was indeed a lie and he has no evidence to prove it. Available in ebook, paperback, and hardback! Communal narcissists will play up their victimhood should you ever question them. Cheating on you or triangulating you with other love interests? If they do, they can use what youve done to play the victim to others, and because it was premeditated and intentional, now it is arguably justifiable. When interacting with a narcissistic boss or co-worker, setting limits is essential. In fact, they look closer to boundary-setting. Giving in to them might cause us to create situations that would make things worse for ourselves and play right into the hands of the narcissist. Narcissists dont usually accept responsibility for their behavior or view their behavior as problematic. This will disrupt a narcissists mind. etc.. Dont forget to check out these resources: Kristen Milstead is a narcissistic abuse survivor who has become a strong advocate for finding your unique voice and using it to help others find theirs. It's like not letting a junkie have his drug. This Is The Worst Thing You Can Do To A Narcissist 'I'm busy and don't have time for you right now'. Not only did he lie to the everyone about the relationship and to the courts as he wanted to win. Your emotionality gives them power, theyre learning how to manipulate you in future situations. Right now, they think that they have you wrapped around their finger and you cant live without them. All have been divorced to no fault of their own. Its probably not as satisfying as youd hoped and might make you feel even worse. Please reach out to someone who can help you get through those periods that are so intense you feel like doing something like taking your life. 2. You dont have to verbally abuse them as they do you, just make comments about how the guy or girl across the room is more attractive. Your email address will not be published. When you explain your feelings, youre not helping the narcissist to see your point of view theyre not capable of that. It did expose him but he didnt change. It's almost certainly irreparably broken, as there's not much to salvage after a breakdown in communication. Only then can we reject them and understand that there is vengeance that we can take, but not in using the traps that the narcissist has laid for us. Taking revenge on a narcissist is pointless. I get heal spiritually from the a******. The stress and anxiety was overwhelming. They had known he was ill, but his death was sudden, surprising everyone. And when we can show a narc that they are NOTHINGthat KILLS THEM INSIDE. He love bombed me, we asked his way into my life, then out of nowhere became the darkest human being Ive ever met. One person hates bananas with the passion of 10 fiery suns. The best revenge is to beHAPPY. But understand she is at that age where she is very impressionable. Of course not, but instead of striving for the temporary joy of humiliating a narcissist, focus on the long term and how you can find peace. . If you don't need to maintain contact with them, don't. Walk out of that door and never look back. Exposure to the true identity hurt them because they portray a false self around others. Just by leaving we take all of our power back. 1. It's about offering something to another person without the expectation of . Lying about everything and took no responsibility for what she had done. Comfront them publicly they dont like that. But you can beat them. The first step to getting a narcissist to forgive you is by allowing yourself to be vulnerable with them. One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. I also destroyed her career in nursery which I made possible for her in the first place. So maybe its all about in how we think about it? 6. Your email address will not be published. Answer (1 of 63): I was with my narcissist for nearly three years. Trust your friends, family, even your coworkers with your issues. Then I went silent. However, this behavior is only a front. Dear sarah.. x. I reported his best friend to the police that I had threats that I was endangered, silly friend decided to send me WhatsApp messages to threaten me. In his work, he states that the term covert is often used to suggest that the covert narcissist is sneaky or that their striving for importance is not as significant as an overt (more extroverted) narcissist. They dont cause remorse, validation, acknowledgment, or change because they dont view you as anything but an extension of them, not as an equal who is entitled to your own pain. The worst thing you can do to a narcissist that will drive them insane is something very very simple. -Kristen, You have to break away. 2. The relationship started out great they were charming, affectionate, and never stopped telling you how much they loved you. There's something about sending negative energy and abuse right back to a narcissist, and doing it quickly, that really irritates them.